Life is like an abstract painting. One day, the picture is a sun setting upon a gorgeous field, the next, it's a river of blood drowning your sorrows and fears. It's funny how that works. Even more funny is how it's never the same picture for any two people, no matter how close they may be. Despite that constant struggle of trying to make someone else understand, it doesn't help. If I say "and there's a single flowering blooming in the sea of grass," what do you see? Is it a flower enjoying a moment of solitude? Perhaps it's a flower reveling in his own glory at standing out amongst the crowd. Maybe it's the opposite. Or is it a flower that mourns over his own loneliness? ...or maybe, there's a chance that it is all and none of these at once.

Picture yourself in the forest for a moment. Trees extending far above you with green leaves shading all but a green glimmer of light from you. Looking around, a thick tangle of underbrush reminds you just how far from the path you've managed to stray. In every direction, it looks exactly the same. The calls of birds and chatter of squirrels taunts you from seemingly everywhere and nowhere at once. You whisper, no, SHOUT, your words echoing off the trees for a moment before being swallowed by the endless forest. Where do you go? At what point does it become more worthwhile just to succumb to it all instead of continuing to drag yourself along through a sea of green where the only thing that seems to change is you, when you don't dare go back to trails that lead nowhere? Is that glimmer of hope that you'll maybe someday find that meadow deep within the forest worth it all? That there may be someone there to share that lone flower with you?



Someone once told me (in a darker month) that I should be happy. I have a roof over my head, food, clothing, internet, and all that crap. I'm supposed to be happy when everything is spoon-fed to me? Adversity has been eliminated. It seems fairly shallow that the biggest problem in one's life is getting a job... finding someone to love and be with. I know. There are plenty of people out there who would LOVE to be in my situation. Life without worrying about whether you'll have a place to live at the end of the month... food to eat in a week. Y'know what? Take it. What good is it all, anyway? We're all going to die in the end and that will be it. What is life without adversity? It's boring to be handed everything, to live without any real tangible danger. Sure, you can have any sort of medical emergency any given moment of the day, but really, what is that? An illness... an accident... It seems a rather droll thing. Even the thought of dying in a motorcycle crash loses it appeal. I want something to maim me. I want to have to STRIVE to either live or die. ...I want to feel alive.


...I know. It's all fine and well for me to say all this, having all the things I want to lose, but you know what? ...It's all an abstract painting.

How Heavy the Wings: cynical The Wind in My Ear: boa - Duvet

When you're infatuated with death, you tend to give it quite a bit of thought. You wonder why we're alive, what happens when we die, and what that means for the time in between. This, of course, tends to go in a much more positive direction for the masses who will delude themselves into believing in faith (and for those of you who have done just that, save your breath: your arguments are wasted. You have your opinion, I have mine, and nothing either of us will say is going to change it, now is it?). Unfortunately, the skeptics and those people who are given over to empirical thinking (and don't forget those people who are just plain opposed to following beliefs that were written by a bunch of people that probably didn't bathe on a regular basis) tend to find themselves in a bit of a dilemma. So, for those of us who have lost our hope, I ask you: What is there?

If you find yourself unable to believe in life after death, it soon follows that you will begin to wonder why you even exist in the first place. Hell, even if you DO believe in life after death, there's a good chance you'll wonder this too. If you're lucky enough to believe your spoon-fed religion, then good for you! You have now accepted one of the easiest ways to crawl through your meaningless existence! If you find yourself on the opposite end of the spectrum, I admire your apathy and ask if you have a bit to spare, as mine is a bit insufficient in certain areas of my life. If you happen to be stuck somewhere in the middle as I do, I'm sorry. Please join me in a mass cult-like show of suicide? I think it'll be kind of fun! We can even have long debates on the best time and method, and whether or not we should spell something out with our dead bodies! ...and if you REALLY want to be crazy, we could even "liberate" some people from the evil that is life in the process! Now wouldn't that be a real treat? ...but I digress.



...to be continued when I find myself in need of more ranting.

How Heavy the Wings: bored

...Why do I feel so satisfied after this? XD;;;


M'kay... Random person decided to message me on AIM (name withheld out of courtesy). ( This is what resulted. )

The question remains as to where this person got my contact info from...? *shrugs* 'Tis of no consequence, I guess.

How Heavy the Wings: amused The Wind in My Ear: Pur - Rolf Rockt

For those of you who haven't been filled in...

Two haircuts and a sloppy attention later:






P.S. I may be enlisting in the Air Force in January. O.o;

How Heavy the Wings: bored

... XD;;;

OHEMGEE! T3h luuuuurve!

The rules for MFF 2006

NO:

1. Stay away from the pants. The pants are a permanent attachment unless I say otherwise. Do not touch the pants. Do not touch what is within the pants. Do not THINK about the things inside the pants. They do not exist.
2. You should remain in your pants (skirts, shirts, etc.) in my presence. This is only optional if you wish to have an angry panther on your hands.
3. Random attacking out of no where in the hallways/anywhere else. I'm going to be spacey due to lack of sleep and do not need a heart attack.
4. Do not shove meat products in my face. Eat them all you want, just don't torment me with them, or I shall have to shove them up your nose.
5. Do NOT call me/bother me/anything else between the times of 4 AM and 10 AM. I want to sleep. Sleep is happy. If I don't get sleep, I will eat you.


YES!:
1. Talk to me and make me feel like I have a social life ('cause we all know that I don't have one)
2. Cuddling, hugging, scritching, petting, etc. is quite fine, and encouraged, as long as you ask first/I offer first.
3. Feel free to ask me to go grab something to eat somewhere. Make sure it's somewhere that I can actually EAT at, though, as meat is t3h ev1l. If you do not have money and I like you enough, I may be nice and buy you something (this means something around the ballpark of $5-$6 at the MOST).
4. Strike up a fulfilling conversation with me. Topics include, but are not limited to: music, computers, psychology, science, clothing, anything that doesn't immediately turn into a string of sexual references (...that one is going to be hard for me! ;-; )
5. Ask for music, knowing full well that my vocal repertoire is limited, and that I don't play violin all that well at the moment.
6. Bring me sweets... and coffee. =P

HEART!


XD

How Heavy the Wings: still tired... ^^;

I'm 18 now. Everyone run away quickly... XD


Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

How Heavy the Wings: cheerful The Wind in My Ear: Japan-a-Radio: Happa-tai - Yatta! (Radio Edit)

Journal is becoming friend's only. Why? Because I'm a bastard... and that's putting it nicely.

How Heavy the Wings: annoyed

Taken from rose_nightshade, who got it from elsewhere. We love you Rose-chan!


REAL reasons Americans are opposed to gay marriage...

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

</sarcasm>
Please post this in your journal if you are for gay marriage.

How Heavy the Wings: cheerful